Clarity and Accuracy of Communication within the Family

Clarity and Accuracy of Communication within the Family

Each Family has their own pre established boundaries, rules, communication patterns; as well as, unique ways of dealing and adapting to change. In my family we pride ourselves on family definition, family satisfaction and rational rules. My family has been something that I have always cherished. My family is defined by our ability to communicate with one another with clarity and accuracy. My family members are known for saying what they feel. I believe that communication of any sort must be thought out thoroughly; what exactly do you want to say? What is the best way to communicate your point? This concept seems to work well for my family. Every agreement, disagreement, or liking is out on the table for discussion. Developing shared meanings and reminiscing on funny stores of the past, gives us the ability to let down boundaries and creating a family system where we all work on together.

 In our efforts as a family to communicate our feelings, we try to create family satisfaction.  Family satisfaction has many different ways of being accomplish, in my family satisfaction is achieved by ensuring that everyone in the family has the essential needs, such as: clothes, food, shelter, and all the necessities. We also try to make each other happy, even if it means doing something we are really not interested in.

 Conflicts between family members within any family system are common. Most people lack proper communication skills and speak openly and freely about topics that may make people feel uncomfortable. There are many different types of communication skills that can be used to help manage conflicts. In my family we use more of the horizontal approach: communication through taking turns. I have two younger sisters who just turned eighteen this year. That’s right they are twins and they are girls. Presently, but mostly in the past it was hard to create structure in our home. As a result, my mother came up with the idea to hold a family meeting once a week. These meetings were to talk about chores, grades and anything that we wanted to share with each other. Although, her intentions were good, we still lacked proper communication skills. To fix our communication problem my mother decided to pass around a talking stick. Only the person who had the stick could speak. This was a way for us to communicate without interrupting one another. Unfortunately, this organizational skill did not always work and we often spoke out of turn. This soon created such a problem that we no longer had family meetings and my mom started posting the chore list without allowing anyone’s input.  

            The structure and roles within my family have never been completely defined. Since I was little I have been telling my mom what I was going to do or what I think she should be doing. For example when I was two I put a straw up to my mother’s nose and told her to “suck up this will hurt”.  Remember I was only two! Rationally, I think that my mom is afraid of being “the bad guy”, so she calls it; as a result, she lacks the ability to discipline my younger sisters. Therefore, I often take on the role and responsibilities of my mother; dropping off and picking up my sisters from school, washing everyone’s clothes, cleaning, helping cook dinner, buying things for the house, and going grocery shopping. I feel that her lack of discipline is going to have a big impact on how my sisters grow up or what they chose to do with their lives. It is hard to take on the role of being a mother, but I have learned over time that I am NOT a mom and  I cannot stress myself out because my mom’s lack of discipline towards my sisters.

            The ability that my family has to work together, to help each other and to live happily with one another is astonishing. I know that no matter what I do or say, my family will always be there for me. Most families cannot define what it means to be a family, to have family satisfaction and or be able to adapt and establish rational rules the way my family has been able to. I consider myself very lucky!