Clarity and Accuracy of Communication within
the Family
Each
Family has their own pre established boundaries,
rules, communication patterns; as well as, unique ways of dealing and adapting
to change. In my family we pride ourselves on family definition, family
satisfaction and rational rules. My family has been something that I have
always cherished. My family is defined by our ability to communicate with one
another with clarity and accuracy. My family members are known for saying what
they feel. I believe that communication of any sort must be thought out
thoroughly; what exactly do you want to say? What is the best way to communicate
your point? This concept seems to work well for my family. Every agreement, disagreement,
or liking is out on the table for discussion. Developing shared meanings and
reminiscing on funny stores of the past, gives us the ability to let down boundaries
and creating a family system where we all work on together.
In our
efforts as a family to communicate our feelings, we try to create family
satisfaction. Family satisfaction has
many different ways of being accomplish, in my family satisfaction is achieved
by ensuring that everyone in the family has the essential needs, such as:
clothes, food, shelter, and all the necessities. We also try to make each other
happy, even if it means doing something we are really not interested in.
Conflicts between family members within any
family system are common. Most people lack proper communication skills and
speak openly and freely about topics that may make people feel uncomfortable.
There are many different types of communication skills that can be used to help
manage conflicts. In my family we use more of the horizontal approach: communication
through taking turns. I have two younger sisters who just turned eighteen this
year. That’s right they are twins and they are girls. Presently, but mostly in
the past it was hard to create structure in our home. As a result, my mother came
up with the idea to hold a family meeting once a week. These meetings were to
talk about chores, grades and anything that we wanted to share with each other.
Although, her intentions were good, we still lacked proper communication
skills. To fix our communication problem my mother decided to pass around a
talking stick. Only the person who had the stick could speak. This was a way for
us to communicate without interrupting one another. Unfortunately, this
organizational skill did not always work and we often spoke out of turn. This
soon created such a problem that we no longer had family meetings and my mom
started posting the chore list without allowing anyone’s input.
The structure
and roles within my family have never been completely defined. Since I was
little I have been telling my mom what I was going to do or what I think she should
be doing. For example when I was two I put a straw up to my mother’s nose and
told her to “suck up this will hurt”.
Remember I was only two! Rationally, I think that my mom is afraid of
being “the bad guy”, so she calls it; as a result, she lacks the ability to
discipline my younger sisters. Therefore, I often take on the role and responsibilities
of my mother; dropping off and picking up my sisters from school, washing
everyone’s clothes, cleaning, helping cook dinner, buying things for the house,
and going grocery shopping. I feel that her lack of discipline is going to have
a big impact on how my sisters grow up or what they chose to do with their
lives. It is hard to take on the role of being a mother, but I have learned
over time that I am NOT a mom and I
cannot stress myself out because my mom’s lack of discipline towards my sisters.
The
ability that my family has to work together, to help each other and to live happily
with one another is astonishing. I know that no matter what I do or say, my
family will always be there for me. Most families cannot define what it means
to be a family, to have family satisfaction and or be able to adapt and
establish rational rules the way my family has been able to. I consider myself
very lucky!